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My early life was full of love from my family, but their love fell short of making me feel I was accepted for who I was. It was not their fault. I did not know at the time that no person was created to fulfill our deepest love and acceptance of who we are.  I am thankful I did not find it in others. My Heavenly Father knew I would find it in Him, His Son, and Holy Spirit of Truth before I was formed in my mothers womb.   The love I was searching for always seemed out of reach like a balloon. I was confused most of my life about who I was, my plan, and purpose for living. Through my natural human sinful nature, I was living and pouring out, I became worst of the worst in the sins I committed. I felt like a awkward puzzle piece that did not  fit in the great complex puzzle of myself or this world I was born in. I searched and searched for whoever or whatever would quench my thirst of acceptance, in this dried up desert I was living in. The desert I was living in was full of one relationship after another that was nothing but mirages an deceptions when I got closer.

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According to the standards of this world, I did not accomplish much. I  was not a great student, nor did I accomplish great works to be talked or read about. Most people who are successful today come from an early childhood of accomplishments, and they make great stories, but that was not part of my story. In my high school year book under my name you will not read most successful, most kind, hardest worker, or most comical.  It is blank.


I tried Christianity to find my answers,  but no one around me was living like those in the early church that followed Christ. Most of the religions I tried to understand was full of  human-made traditions that claimed came from a god they or other people imagined like the false mirages I was finding in my dired up spiritual desert my soul had become.  The Christians I knew did not have His Word as a witness to all their traditions, ways, and teachings I heard and was taught. This caused me not  to truly believe in the Christian God most people believed in because most people were not living as He taught, as HIS Word proclaimed His early church lived and poured out. There were too many additions and subtractions, so I thought it was like every other religion that added as they went. Much like some games my siblings and I played as a child. We make up games and add rules as we played. That is fun because it is fictional games, but there is no place for make  believe rules as we search for our true love and acceptance in life. The Christian religion I was seeing looked like people were the Spiritual Potters, and they were molding and shaping God to fit their own views of who their god was they wanted to believe in. They looked like beautiful clay pots pouring out what their ears wanted to hear and eyes wanted to see.

I followed my own path, which ended up no better  than the path I was on.  I  still felt like I was living in a dried up dessert. I was still reaching for love and acceptance, and I was becoming fully convinced I would find. I thought God was a myth that people imagined in their mind. I thought they used their faith as a way to live with their hope like cripples learn to live with their crutches.  Most people I knew were working their human ways  to Heaven, and  I never saw His Spirit of truth giving them their faith and His work in them and through them He ask them to pour out. I  did not see or experience His miracles, signs, and wonders His Word proclaimed. I know now our Heavenly Father, His Son, and Spirit of Truth were hiding underneath the spirits the people were pouring out.

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 It took a long time before my Lord was pleased to reveal Himself in me because it took me a long time to become empty of anything in the world I could find, including myself, to receive the grace I needed. It was 40 odd years of searching before I heard His truth because I was full of human spiritual ways and thoughts that did not come from Him. The moment I became empty He revealed Himself through His Holy Spirit of Truth! January of 2008 the idea of Love4love was born through an elderly lady that told me she needed help with cleaning her home, and then it turned into a loving relationship through Christ that gave her rides to the doctor, grocery store, and out to lunch! Then came others that needed our Lord's help with addiction, hoarding, marital, and financial needs. I was following Him every step of the way through His Spirit and Word of truth, and He gave me a huge craving of His Word that took me beyond my own understanding. The meaning of Love4love Ministry was proven through me and others on my path by His Spirit and HIS written word we all can find in us! Matthew 10:7 for us all.  "As you go, preach this message: The kingdom of heaven is near.' Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give." 

Love4Love Ministry  has been like a fresh spring that bubbled up from His Holy Spirit from one thought to another. He turned His wisdom into a river that has never stopped moving or like a strike of lightning that never stops igniting, because I am willing to spiritually die to every spiritual word, tradition, and thought that does not come from our Heavenly Father, His Son and Holy Spirit of Truth.

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